Running Towards versus Running Away
All of us have been in a situation where we realized at some point that we wanted out. It could have been a relationship, a job, an exercising routine, community, anything. Things are great and then, suddenly, the balance tips over and the bad becomes increasingly heavier than the good. Your partner doesn’t seem good enough, job tasks are annoying, the daily bike ride feels boring, and you don’t want to belong to the same circle any longer. You want to run away to a better place. But where? Knowing what you DON’T want is not the same as knowing what you DO want.
If you ask me what I want for dinner and I tell you I don’t like beans, absolutely hate fried stuff, spicy food upsets my stomach, and I’m trying to avoid carbs, you may think there is still a lot of dishes I’ll like. But even if you serve something that avoids my DON’Ts, what are the odds that I will actually like it?
When you want to move on and be somewhere else, you may think that it’s because there is something wrong with the people, the job, or the neighborhood around you, and that if you simply change the exterior, all is going to be great again. However, you may not realize that the main reason behind why you no longer want to be where you are may lay inside of you. Maybe you’ve evolved and need something else. Maybe there is nothing wrong with the exterior and you’re simply ready to explore new territories and to play with your life a little.
Getting in touch with who you are and what you want is very powerful. If you’re leaving because you can’t take it anymore, you don’t know where you’re going, and the only thing on your mind is to run, you are in a survival mode. If you operate from fear of staying, everything seems better than the current situation. You feel desperate and weak and you may settle for the first thing that crosses your path.
On the other hand, when you know what you DO want and you move towards it, there will be joy, anticipation, and excitement inside of you. You’ll feel stronger, able to enjoy the journey and adapt as you go. You can be present and curious about all that is around you. You can decide based on what you like and what you want with each step that you take. So, where do you want to go next?
Your Inner Landscape
Last night, I was driving through the city, admiring the lights, the scenery created by the buildings and bridges, the lights that gave it life, and I started thinking about the time before people settled in. Originally, the land had a certain landscape – the hills, lakes, forests, meadows, beaches, rocks… and the settlers needed to work with that natural environment – they crossed rivers using bridges, they looked for solid ground to build houses, and settled near the ocean, bringing in more supplies from abroad.
Each of us also has a natural landscape. Your “hills” may invite you to build great things, your “oceans” may inspire you to search for new inventions, or your “meadows” may create a strong desire to gather groups of people with a common purpose. Whatever that natural landscape may be, we need to be aware of it and use it to our advantage, just as those old settlers and architects did. Only then we can make the best of it and build the structures that will work well with our “natural resources”.
So, if you found yourself climbing the corporate ladder while dreaming about serving the needs of your community, maybe it’s time to take a trip to your inner self and explore the scenery. Are you building houses on sand? Maybe there is a place that inspires fun and exploration, like a waterfall. Maybe you just got lost in the woods and forgot about the fields around that offer amazing views of sunsets that may inspire you on your journey.
Take your time and explore who you really are. I’m sure there is a lot you can do with what you find, whether it’s a warmer climate offering places to collaborate, or a cooler one, where you would sit by the fire and concentrate on detailed work. However you end up crafting your life, building your career, or pursuing your passion, it’s going to be as unique as the world around us – there are no two places on Earth that are the same. We love traveling to beautiful places, because they somehow inspire us. So, if you are sensitive to your inner landscape, you are more likely to create a life that is naturally beautiful. A life that you will love living; a life that many others would like to join. And some may just choose to join you forever.
Career Move
When I was 18, I had to decide what I wanted to study. Computers were the hot thing, and I was always good at math, so I chose that career path. My parents encouraged me as well; they could easily envision my future in a clean and quiet office, surrounded by smart, intelligent people. What could be better than that?
Well, I ended up living up to that vision, but I must say it didn’t excite me much. As I got my hands dirty on variety of projects, I started realizing how much I enjoy working with and for people. I would happily trade my clean and quiet office for a classroom full of people eager to learn something.
I’ve changed jobs several times and always craved that next one, thinking “this is it!” But after a while I wanted something else. Looking back, I’ve been thinking whether that means that my choices were all wrong and whether I’ve been wasting my time. But I don’t think so. Career is an evolution, a journey, so I think career moves are just natural parts of that journey. It’s kind of like when you are on a trip, deciding at some point whether you want to go right or left, whether to change your plans because you’ve hear of that great beach nearby, or whether to go to a different hotel to get a better deal.
A career move doesn’t necessarily mean that the previous job was bad. More likely, your previous job was the right thing for that specific time. Actually, a variety of experiences will give you a better sense of what you really like doing.
If you pick a school solely on what is easy for you, it may not necessarily bring you happiness at work. And the more years you spend in that field, the harder it is to compete with people who spent that time gaining experience in the field of your passion. For that reason, we sometimes feel trapped in our current occupation, feeling like we’ve lost the train and got stuck somewhere where we thought we would be happy forever.
So, my advice to all of you is this: listen to your intuition, to your passion, and to your interests when deciding on a certification, or on a major at school. Help your children and your friends to make the right decision as well. And for those who are stuck, your sales pitch should be something like, “If I was able to succeed in what I don’t even like doing, can you imagine me in something I love doing?” It’s never too late to start from scratch. Good luck in your next career move!
